The Secret

We are finally getting in gear and my world is filled with writing envelopes, sending emails and keeping track of addresses and more lists. Rob has finally jumped right in and we've tackled a lot of the important things.... like his suit!!
And the caterer!

Through all this merry chaos, what stands out the most is how happy everyone has been to hear our news, and how everyone is glad to be coming or sad they aren't able to. This feeling of such love and encouragement and support makes us feel all warm and fuzzy and happy that the world is such a happy place!

Robin's family has thrown itself into helping, and suggestions and helping hands are pouring in. It feels really nice that they have chosen to be supportive and involved in our so very unconventional 'relationship'. The D'Cruz cousins are all super fun and I like having sisters -in-law... Andi, Shona, Ewelina, Shauna (whom I will owe forever) and Petronella. They are all diverse women, strong women. I look forward to getting to know them even better!



To be honest, I'm not a big family person, as my brother Ketan and I grew up alone with our parents in Lonavla. And our circle consisted of friends, with extended family somewhere in the background. After my dada, and much later, my dadi-ma passed away, our links to the family home in Bombay grew more distant as my father and his siblings grew more estranged. And papa's passing away made it all even more remote. I like to think that my generation has tried to remain friends and let the elders have their disputes. At the end of the day, Facebook turned into one huge bonding platform and now I'm in touch with cousins and aunts and nieces from Mumbai and the US.

Today brought a big surprise on FB again.... I met my mother's side on-line. Ma is an only child, but her mother ( my Nana who lives with me)had a whole cricket team of siblings so I have aunts and uncles my age and cousins too!! TOday I connected with Janice from Ontario, and so we have a link more instantaneous than snail-mail, to ma's cousins and aunt in Canada.

This blog is being read by Robin's far-flung relatives too,in Europe, America and possibly Down Under. I still marvel at how the internet has linked us all so close.

Then there is OUR family: the family Rob and I have had through all these past years. A family full of rock solid friendships, fantastic womena and sources of strength, laughter and love. Za, Yaku, Sha, Andi, Rachel, Aneesha, Janu, Leila, Niloufer, Judi,Minal, Monika, Sheetal,Jay. Truly, you are the sisters of our soul.And always family.

Strangely, there are few men on this list. I wonder why? I think the women just entered our lives and surrounded us with all their love.

Most striking of all is how many messages and emails I have received from friends, both men and women, saying Rob and I are an inspiration to them. That we have made them believe that love does conquer all, that dreams can come true and that families can get over the whole 'class-caste-religion-dogma' bars. To be honest, we just stopped expecting any kind of support and believed that as long as we held true, our world would be happy.

WHich brings me to dwell on something important: I recently read that each of us has a God-given duty to pursue happiness actively. If we do not make it our mission to find happiness and be happy, we will not be able to spread happiness around and therefore, we will spread unhappiness around. Put the other way,it sounds like this: If I am an unhappy person, my unhappiness will percolate into my life, and by extension into the lives of those closest to me, and then they become unhappy in turn. Ii, instead, I find my level of happiness and I allow that to percolate into my life, everyone else responds to my happiness and it's spread around and we are all happy!

So I say: we must all actively pursue happiness, that which brings us joy and light that we can share. SO go and punch a boxing bag, or go for a long walk, pant around the race course and work through your anger or your pain. But when you come home, look around and count your blessings. Every day I count my blessings and give thanks, and what can I say?? The secret of happiness is right there, inside me, around me.And we will keep spreading it around.